at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
