4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
