Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
