i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
