who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
