last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
