i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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