one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Panties = found
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
