He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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