I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
