ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize