i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
