guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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