yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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