so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
