she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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