these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
