I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
