So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
