a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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