You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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