if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
