Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Found the puke drawer
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
