Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
