I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
