How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
