He is an equal opportunity slut.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
