i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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