I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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