Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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