So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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