And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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