C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
