did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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