Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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