Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
