I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
