Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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