He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
