i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
