if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
