they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
