Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
North Korea, Best Korea!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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