Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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