I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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