Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
