the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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