Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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