your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
