if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the day after is always just damage control
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
