oh god the rape fog is back!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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