nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
