ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
