you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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