Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
