I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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