he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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