Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize