So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
